What Your Relationship With Money Reveals
What looks like a money issue is often something deeper.
Can you dig into the archives of your life and find memories of when you first began to misrepresent money… and how that misrepresentation has cost you?
I’ll go first.
At the age of four (that’s me in the photo above), I unknowingly decided to become a thief.
I stashed three cherry-flavored suckers into the pockets of my dress while my father was busy chatting with the owner of the drugstore. When we arrived back at my Nannie’s apartment for lunch, I took one of those suckers and popped it into my mouth.
Busted.
Within seconds, questions and accusations were hurled at me.
Where did you get that?
Did you take more? Where’s the rest?
What made you think it was okay to steal candy?
I cried.
All I knew was that, in the eyes of my parents, I had done something very wrong. But no one explained it to me. I had no idea what money was. I had no idea what it meant to steal.
Instead of understanding, I felt shame.
And shame sticks.
No one sat me down and taught me how money worked. What I learned instead was emotional. I learned that wanting something I couldn’t have could lead to guilt. And that doing something wrong might mean that something was wrong with me.
Over time, those moments formed quiet beliefs.
Not conscious ones.
But powerful ones.
I can’t have what I want.
There’s not enough.
If I get this wrong, I am wrong.
And the truth is, those beliefs do not stay in childhood.
They follow us.
They shape how we earn, spend, save, avoid, and overthink. They influence the risks we take — or don’t take. And they quietly define what we believe we are allowed to have, receive, or enjoy.
Years later, after 16 years as a financial advisor, I found myself in a place I never expected.
At 39, after the birth of my second son and on the heels of my third divorce, I filed for bankruptcy.
On paper, it made no sense.
I understood finances.
I had built a career around it.
And yet there I was, asking myself:
How did this happen?
What’s wrong with me?
I felt angry.
I felt confused.
And underneath it all, I felt that same familiar shame I had felt in childhood.
That is when I began to see something more clearly:
This wasn’t just a financial problem.
It was a meaning problem.
Not because money has no meaning, but because I had assigned money a role it was never meant to play.
Growing up, money wasn’t talked about. It was modeled.
My mother would say, “Christine, you have champagne taste on a beer budget.”
As a child, that did not land as, “We can’t afford that right now.”
It landed as, “Christine, you can’t have what you want.”
And deeper still, “Christine, you are not worthy of what you want.”
Without realizing it, money became tied to worthiness.
To guilt.
To shame.
To deprivation.
Money became more than a resource.
It became a symbol. A judge. A measuring stick.
And when we ask for money to do jobs like that, it gets heavy.
We ask it to make us feel safe.
We ask it to make us feel enough.
We ask it to give us peace.
We ask it to prove our value.
But money cannot do any of those things.
Money is neutral. It does not create our inner state — it reveals it.
It reveals what we believe.
It reveals what we fear.
It reveals the meaning we have assigned to it.
That is why what often looks like a money issue is not just about finances.
It is an invitation.
An invitation to pause and ask:
What have I been asking money to mean?
What have I been asking it to prove?
What role have I given it in my life?
Because when money is no longer responsible for our peace, our worth, or our identity, it can return to its rightful role:
A tool.
A resource.
Something that supports what matters most, rather than something we depend on to tell us who we are.
That shift is where healing begins.
If this resonates with you, you may be noticing that your relationship with money is not just about numbers.
It may be about safety.
Worthiness.
Identity.
Control.
Freedom.
Peace.
That is the work I guide people through.
If you are ready to explore your own soul and money dynamic — the deeper beliefs, patterns, and meanings shaping your decisions — I invite you to start that conversation with me. Because sometimes what appears to be about money is revealing something far more important. And seeing that clearly can change everything.
As Western New York’s only Certified Money Coach (CMC®), Christine partners with our financial advisors to bring clients the best of both worlds: the technical expertise of financial planning and the transformational insight of wealth coaching. She helps individuals uncover limiting beliefs, align financial choices with what matters most, and move toward clarity. Connect with her on LinkedIn or visit our website to learn more about wealth coaching.