Divorce – a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery or salvation?

Frustration builds as your bank account bleeds…

It bankrupts your patience and any remaining good sense.

You probably wonder, “What the hell am I paying for?”

Divorce is hard. 

It’s complicated, overwhelming, and heart wrenching. It’s painful, scary, intimidating, and maddening. It’s also quite costly.

The pressure is on to make decisions … big decisions … involving the here and now and the next

All you want is for it to be over.

That’s why your decision-making is typically impulsive and rushed.

But what if your perception of divorce is nothing more than a simple misunderstanding?

My First Divorce

It was my first divorce and before I had even met with my attorney, I somehow knew that the process would be slow, difficult, and expensive. 

But how did I know? And how did I know that everyone involved, including myself, would be miserable?

Truth was, I didn’t know. Not absolutely. I assumed based on the experiences of others. And I chose to believe I was right. 

God – if only I could have been wrong!

Divorce was hell. It was war. And those I thought were on my side, really weren’t. 

I was scared, hurt, and robbed … on many levels … physically, emotionally, and financially.

And at the end of it all, I was not left for better, but for worse. 

(Sound familiar?)

It Was Me

But who could I blame?

A faulty legal system? An unsympathetic judge? An attorney that appeared more interested in clocking their hourly rate than tending to their client’s peace of mind?

If not them, then who? 

Well, the obvious answer is me.

If only I had been aware that the quality of my experience with divorce had been in my control all along.

No one forced me to believe that every aspect of divorce is difficult. I was the one that chose to make the horror stories of others my own. And then my subsequent divorces were experienced in similar fashion because I didn’t believe I had another choice. I didn’t believe that I could experience divorce as something other than misery. 

You’re Right

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford

Just like money, there isn’t anything right or wrong, or good or bad about divorce. 

If you think money is intimidating, elusive, or loathsome, you’re right. And how you conduct yourself with money will be your proof. 

If you think divorce is stressful, painful, and costly, you’re right. And how you conduct yourself during and after your divorce will be your proof. 

It wasn’t until my fourth marriage was coming to an end that I realized the truth of Henry Ford’s words. 

And it had nothing to do with “do we or don’t we”.

It was about if I wanted to prove myself right again. Or was I ready and willing to believe that divorce is in fact swift, uncomplicated … and effortless? 

Drop It

Another divorce came with breast cancer too. I recall my Oncologist advising me to drop everything I thought I knew about the treatment of breast cancer, to forget everything I had ever read and everything I had ever been told. He said it was all crap and had nothing to do with me or my cancer.

Eventually I believed him … and that’s what saved me.

I could tell you that the healthiest thing you could do is to drop all your preconceived ideas of what divorce is like. But you won’t … because you can’t change what you’re unaware of.

So, the first thing for you to do is take the step you don’t want to take.

Regardless of where you are in your divorce, before, during, or on the other side of it, you must decide if it’s more important for you to be right or be happy.

That’s when the door to the “classroom of divorce” will open, inviting you in. 

What is that classroom?

I’d love to have a chat with you and explain … please click below and schedule a complimentary discovery session.

And if you’re really curious … take the Money Types Quiz to see what is currently influencing your financial decision making and impacting your divorce too. 

Then you can sign up to attend my free webinar, hosted by UB, on Wednesday, October 25th at noon. 

I hope to see you there!

-Christine, B.Msc. – Wealth Coach, Certified Money Coach (CMC®)

Watch my videos below to learn more about how wealth coaching can transform your decision-making:

Your Authentic Life
Feel like your life is narrated by someone else? Christine and friend of Note, Tamara, unpack how to live your authentic life instead.
Bring Those Beliefs to Light
How can you bring light to your financial anxiety? Christine and friend of Note, Tamara, have an idea. And it involves brunch.
Unlocking Business Growth and Financial Freedom
Christine goes on Connie Whitesell's business podcast to talk about how wealth coaching can help you achieve financial freedom.
It Was Something I Needed to Do
Friend of Note Alicia Kay shares what she discovered in her first wealth coaching session.

Alicia Kay is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Money Isn't Out to Get Me
Friend and client of Note Chelsea Haines shares how Christine helped with anxiety surrounding money.

Chelsea Haines is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
She Couldn't Trust the Numbers
What happens when you reach your goal but you just can't trust the numbers?

Greg and Laura Beatty are current clients of Note and were not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Finding Yourself Stuck
Christine unpacks how to get un-stuck during or after a divorce.
You Can't Change What You Can't See
Christine gives her secret for seeing divorce as a classroom.
Start Wealth Coaching Early
Friend and client of Note Chelsea Haines shares how starting early with Christine was transformative.
Chelsea Haines is a current client of Note and was not compensated for providing this testimonial.
What Greg and Laura Loved About Wealth Coaching
Wealth coaching helped Greg & Laura choose to see life differently.

Greg and Laura Beatty are current clients of Note and were not compensated for providing this testimonial.
Flourish & Flow
Flourish & Flow helps remove the fear and anxiety from planning your finances.
You Don't Want to Believe It
Everyone knows money won’t make you happy. But we all behave like it will.
Being Unhappy Looks Like
You may have unhealthy beliefs about money. Ready to change them?
Belief. Attitude. Behavior. Results. Christine explains it all.
Money and Happiness
If you want a healthy relationship with money, you have to confront your beliefs.
If You've Lost Everything
How “losing it all” can teach you about your relationship with money.
The Happy One
Christine shares one woman's journey from tragedy.
Who's Driving?
Most of us make decisions with our gut, riding whatever mood we're in.
Four Relationships, Three Brains
If following good advice was easy, consultants and coaches wouldn't have jobs.
Christine's Money Story
We all have a money story. Christine shares how she overcame hers.
You Have a Relationship with Money
What you think and feel about money affects your decisions.
Not Enough
Christine tells the story of a client who learned to enjoy her present success.
A Chance to Be More
Christine reveals how to be deliberate and confident in your decisions.
When to Start Wealth Coaching?
You can't make wise decisions if your state of mind isn't healthy.
Fear Is Planning Your Finances
Christine explains how our fear can take the wheel.
What Really Changes Your Life?
Real change is hard. Christine unpacks how to get results you want.
I'll Be Happy When...
Everyone knows numbers don't make you happy.
Judge Not
Christine has a fresh take on the topic of judging others and ourselves.
Everybody's Got It
Christine talks about alternatives to judging yourself harshly.
You're for Sale
Listen as Christine talks about “selling out.”
Lost in the Enormity of Life
Christine and Tamara McMillan explore what we chase after.
The Gift of Choice
Christine and Tamara McMillan unpack the power of choice.
Prostitutes and Coffee
Christine shares a...captivating coffee story.
Belief. Attitude. Behavior. Results.
Christine explains what’s really driving those precious results.
The Real Meaning of Wealth
Christine and Tom discuss what wealth really is.
You've Sold, But Something Feels Wrong
Christine has an idea of where your purpose went.
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The CMC® designation combines sound coaching principles with practical financial coaching to assist individuals better understand their relationship with money and finances. Money Coaching complements financial professionals as an additional “field of expertise” to offer their existing client base. Certificate Candidates are required to complete Modules One, Two and Three; complete the “Core Process” and a Client Assessment on a minimum of two “practice clients”; complete all exercises in the Certified Money Coach workbook; submit their work and conduct a final review with and to the satisfaction of the Money Coaching Institute. Upon satisfactory completion of items above, candidates will be awarded the Certified Money Coach (CMC)® designation (along with the rights to use the service marks) and will be issued a Certificate of Completion.